THE FAITHFUL CAREGIVER by Linda Schoenmann

THE PASSAGE QUILT

     This saying is old but true:  "The only sure things in life are death and taxes".  I remember the first time I saw a resident’s final exit at Bloomfield Manor.  The deceased was in a black body bag which was not an easy thing to look at, so people usually look away.  It’s definitely not a warm image to leave with family or caregivers.
     The next time I witnessed this ritual, I was at Hospice Care in Fitchburg for an End-of-Life class for Alzheimer’s Caregivers.  Our tour guide asked us to pause for a moment of silence as a procession passed by.  A resident was making his final exit.  Instead of the stark black body bag, I saw a home-made quilt.  The person who had just passed was escorted by staff from Hospice and the funeral home.  I said to myself, “Now THAT’S how it should be done!”
     I searched the Internet and found that special covering is called a “Passage Quilt”.  I described it to Bloomfield’s Administrator, Barbara Linscheid, and said I wanted one for their center, which was home to my husband Bob.  Barb immediately agreed.  I picked out the pattern, “Trip Around the World”, because many people who are about to pass talk about going on a trip.  I picked out the colors for their significance:  green for grass or leaves, tan for wood, blue for sky, red for blood, black for night or death, and white for day or dove.  Then I commissioned a quilter to turn my vision into reality. 
     In March, 2004 I donated the Passage Quilt to Bloomfield and Jean Berns Jones wrote one of her touching stories for the Dodgeville Chronicle.  A miniature quilt and the story now hang in Bloomfield’s Chapel for staff, residents, and family to learn about this special quilt which gives an added measure of respect at a very special time.
     Since then, I’ve received many wonderful comments and hugs from staff and families of loved ones who have passed away and been part of the Passage Quilt ritual.  In January, 2005 I was honored to place the Passage Quilt over the body of my husband Bob and be part of his procession out the front door.    
     When my friend Diane Lefebvre worked at Bloomfield, she captured her feelings in writing:  “My responsibility to people while they are in the final stage of their lives is to give them comfort and care, with dignity and respect.  After one lady took her last breath and the family had left, I placed the “Dignity Quilt” over her body.  She looked like a Queen, as if I had placed a crown on top of her head.  It was that last essential piece that made everything come together.  She was now ready.  When the funeral director arrived, the Quilt was lifted and placed over her wrapped body and was escorted out of the building.  A walk of honor…the Final Passage.  What a quiet and beautiful moment that was, knowing we gave her the respect and dignity that she deserved.” 
     In my talks on Alzheimer’s, Caregiving, and End-of-Life, I tell people about the Passage Quilt in the hope they’ll do the same for their communities.  I planted a seed in Darlington where Rose Burgess and Betty Williams from the Home and Community Education group – along with many others - made it bloom and grow!  Their first Passage Quilt was dedicated to the Lafayette County Manor Nursing Home.  They invited me to be a speaker at their moving dedication ceremony.  A front-page story with picture in the Darlington newspaper resulted in requests for 10 more quilts!  Their goal is to make a Passage Quilt for their hospital, Hospice, assisted living home, and funeral homes!  Some compassionate church groups made Baby and Youth Passage Quilts! 
     One HCE member, Barb Eicher, made a Passage Quilt in memory of her daughter Sue who passed away;  she donated it to the funeral home.  The first person who used the quilt was the husband of the couple who used to baby-sit her daughter!  The second person was Barb’s mom!!  Barb said it was very touching to have her mom use the Passage Quilt she made with love. 
     I spoke at the state HCE conference which generated a lot of interest throughout the state.  So far I’ve heard of Passage Quilts being considered in Platteville, Cuba City, Mt. Horeb, Prairie du Chien, Fond du Lac, Oxford, and St. Croix county.    
     Recently the Upland Hills Auxiliary donated 2 Passage Quilts to the Dodgeville Hospital and Nursing Home.  Both quilts will be displayed for public viewing.  The River Valley Stitchers in Spring Green are working on a Passage Quilt to be donated to Greenway Manor Nursing Home by Eleanor Rock (Bob’s sister), in honor of her husband Gene who now resides there.  And my family plans to have one made in Hanover IL in memory of my dad Brownie Sprecher who passed away in October.
     I’m passionate about Passage Quilts!  If you’d like to have a Passage Quilt made, it’s a wonderful thing to do for your loved ones or your community.  You can pick out patterns or colors that are meaningful for you.  Please contact me for more details.  And please keep me posted on your progress!  I wish that everyone would have a Passage Quilt at their time of need.

RESOURCES
     The next meeting of our Iowa County Alzheimer's Caregiver Support Group is Wed. Jan. 16 at 2:30pm at Bloomfield Manor.  For 24/7 help, call the Alzheimer’s Association at 800-272-3900 or visit our local chapter website at www.alz.org/scwisc or the national site at www.alz.org.
     The next edition of The Faithful Caregiver will be published the end of January in the After 50 Supplement to the Dodgeville Chronicle. 
     If you have a question or suggestion, contact me at blshane@mhtc.net or 608-935-3995.  Until next time, keep up the good care for your loved one and take good care of yourself, too!