THE FAITHFUL CAREGIVER

Vol. 18 – Jan. 2007

Linda Schoenmann

HAPPY 2^nd ANNIVERSARY, BOB!

Jan. 28 marks the 2^nd anniversary of the passing of my husband Bob.  Or as I like to say, it’s his 2^nd anniversary in heaven! Bob’s illness was the most incredible spiritual journey of my life – I wouldn’t trade it for anything! 

Bob was remarkable - he never lost his wit, wisdom, or faith throughout his illness.  And he had a peaceful passing.  I’ve had no sadness since then – only peace.  I received many blessings during his illness and since his passing.  I was named the Wisconsin Outstanding Family Caregiver by the Alzheimer’s Association, which led to me writing this column, which led to me giving talks on Alzheimer’s, Caregiving, and End-of-Life.  Our story is a great example that positive things can come from life-altering situations. 

Each person with Alzheimer’s is unique and so is each caregiver so you probably won’t have the same experience that Bob and I did.  But I hope we can serve as a model and help you learn about this disease so you will recognize it when it appears in people in your life and know where to go for diagnosis and treatment.  If you’re not a caregiver now, there’s a good chance that someday you will be so I provide tips on caregiving so you can take good care of your loved one and yourself, too.  And everyone will face the end of this life at some time, yet most of us are not ready for that so I address those issues to help you be more prepared.

           I learned so much from Bob:  patience, love, and faith.  I’m proud of all the things I’ve done to honor his memory.  He is in my prayers daily and in my heart always. 

For all of us, it’s a constant challenge to maintain a positive attitude, especially for caregivers.  We can’t give what we don’t have.  We have to find moments of joy each day for ourselves.   

My friend Diane Lefebvre, who’s a great caregiver at home and at Bloomfield Manor Healthcare, keeps a special notebook to record all the things she’s glad about.  Taking time to reflect on the things she’s grateful for is a form of meditation.  When she feels down, empty, or in a hurry, Diane looks at her “Glad” book and gets the “attitude adjustment” she needs.       

What a great idea!  Why don’t you get a nice notebook, give it a special title (like “Blessings”), and write down all the things in your life you’re thankful for?  Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Health:  If you are blessed with good health - or at least better than the one you care for - be grateful you’re the caregiver and not the one needing care.   

2. Your care partner:  List the special times you had with your care partner.  Focus on the things your care partner can still do instead of the things she can’t.

3. Family and friends:  Write down the names of the people who helped you – all who called, visited, brought food, or provided support of any kind.   

4. Financial support:  If you have enough money to cover your basic needs and health care coverage, you are very blessed compared to many people in this world.

5. Alzheimer’s Association:  If you attended one of the caregiver support groups in our area (ex. Dodgeville, Darlington or 

Platteville) or went to a class to learn more about this disease to help you be a better caregiver, you can be thankful for our great Madison chapter.  Also be thankful for all the people who raised or donated money     for Memory Walk to sponsor those programs.  

6. Everyday heroes:  In our daily lives, look for those little acts of kindness that mean a lot – the lady at the bakery who always smiles at you like you’re an old friend, the receptionist who greets you cheerfully every day, or the CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) who does special things for your loved one at the care center.            

7. The Simple Things:  It’s the simple things in life that really mean the most – a smile, a warm touch, and the love you share with those around you.  For people with Alzheimer’s, life is all about the simple things – we can learn a lesson from them. 

8.  For many of us, our biggest blessing is our faith in God.  We could not manage without His help. 

When you find your moment of joy, thank the person who brought it to you.  Thank-yous are contagious - the more you give, the more they spread!    

Your journal will help you to be more conscious of all the blessings in your daily life.  Be sure to add new ones as you recognize them.  When you feel overwhelmed or depressed, take out your notebook.  Then you can literally count your blessings!     

COMING UP
The next meeting of our Iowa County Alzheimer's Caregiver Support Group is Wednesday, Feb. 20 at 2:30pm at Bloomfield Manor.  The only way to support another effectively is to be effectively supported.

The next edition of The Faithful Caregiver will appear Feb. 22 in the Dodgeville Chronicle in the After 50 Supplement.  If you have a question or suggestion, contact me at blshane@mhtc.net or 608-935-3995. 

 
Until next month, keep up the good care for your loved one and take good care of yourself, too!